Sleeping with Strangers

Pretty hot blog title, am I right? While it’s not exactly what you’re thinking, I’d like to think that it’s probably more interesting than a one-night stand. For the past 4 months, I haven’t been able to shut up about this amazing concept called, “couchsurfing” (CS). It has been one of the greatest things I’ve had the privilege of encountering in my young adult life and is exactly what you’re thinking – sleeping on random people’s couches. Before you go crazy, I promise you that it’s safe – if you let it. Essentially, it’s a social networking site that connects people by bringing together strangers from all around the world and (hopefully) forming unlikely friendships. You sign up for a profile on and can register as:

  1. Someone who’d only like to meet up.
  2. Someone who’d like to surf.
  3. Someone who’d like to host.

It started in September when my friend, Katie, approached the idea of couchsurfing on our annual trip to NYC. I’d always wanted to try it, but none of my friends would do it with me when I studied abroad in Europe and I was too hesitant to try it by myself…considering I’m a small girl and all, but that has certainly changed over time.

Since September, I’ve shared all sorts of great conversations with some pretty incredible people. My progression with couchsurfing began with just a meet up to surfing in NYC to finally hosting in MY new home in New York. While there are other important contributions surrounding my recent move to NYC (new job being one of them), there’s no doubt that couchsurfing significantly influenced my decision to pack up my bags and move 650 miles north where I barely knew a handful of people.

The first person I met through CS was Michael from Germany. He happened to be surfing at his friend’s place in my part of the world in beautiful Charlotte, NC before heading on a two-month internship in Argentina. One day of constant laughter easily turned into three after we realized how well we got along with each other. It honestly felt like we’d known each other for forever.

Michael and I at Metalmorphosis in Charlotte, NC.

Michael and I at Metalmorphosis in Charlotte, NC.

The second person I met was Evan. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he’s got the heart of gold. Truthfully, I have nothing but kind words for him. He welcomed Katie and I to lobsters the first night we got to his place and his hospitality only got better from there. His strong relationships with his two roommates alone illustrate how down-to-earth and genuine he is as a person. Anyone would be lucky to have him as their host. What has made me fall in love with couchsurfing has been how it breaks down the fear of going beyond just meeting a stranger. You’re fully embraced to a new way of life and a new culture; however, you must make that decision in order for it to take place. By allowing a stranger to truly enter your life, you’ve got to let yourself be vulnerable. Sure, not everyone who comes in your life will become your best friend, but it’s important to try to understand new perspectives. Otherwise, you’ll end up being another human in the world who just comes and goes which is frighteningly too easy to let happen. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve already started to unfortunately let that occur here. Without Evan, I’m not sure I would’ve gone through with the move to NYC from little ole South Carolina.

Myself, Evan, and Katie.

Me, Evan, and Katie.

The third person I met was Hugo, a traveller from Portugal. I actually ended up stealing him from Evan after I met him at a dinner party at Evan’s. I’d just moved to Brooklyn two days prior to meeting Hugo when I learned he was staying in NYC for two weeks. He said he didn’t know where he’d be staying after his time with Evan was up so I extended the opportunity to let him crash at my place. Together, we explored the city and were consumed in some deep conversations. At 22, he’s so wise beyond his years and I loved even the moments when we didn’t have to say anything. Our silence never felt awkward. He made me want to travel more of the world. We talked about music, films, books, relationships, food, travel, everything. There was never the feeling of forced conversation. Everything was so organic, refreshing, and delightfully surprising.

Hugo and I on top of the Rockefeller Center.

Hugo and I on top of the Rockefeller Center.

What couchsurfing has done for me has been monumental whether it’s abundantly clear or not. While Michael and Hugo have been back in Europe for awhile, I still get to see Evan when we’re not too absorbed in this bustling city. Today, I hung out with him after he spent the month of December traveling throughout Europe and Asia. We caught up on the past month of each other’s absence. While NYC has been one hell of a ride (in the best way possible), I want to note that it’s not as glamorous as Hollywood makes it out to seem. A lot of people struggle…not necessarily financially, but in deeper ways.

Today, specifically, I feel more confused than ever on what I want to accomplish in life. It’s a pretty damn scary thought as I meet more and more talented people here in NYC, but it’s also oddly comforting. I think that if I so much knew what I wanted to do, I’d be terrified that I’d come to a halt. I left our “coffee date” thinking to myself that I need to apologize less and just embrace who I am right now in order to resolve some conflicts in my life. As the daily quote in my building currently says, “Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet.” I ask you to follow me as I explore this route and break the barrier of just passing by everyday strangers.